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Step out of your comfort zone, rise to your potential

You know that feeling you get when you are about to embark on something new, but once you get closer to that date or milestone, self-doubt starts to settle in? The reason for this is your subconscious, commonly referred to as your ‘comfort zone.’ A comfort zone is not just that unbelievable soft spot on the couch that everyone loves. Your brain learns your patterns. For example, if you decide to take a new job or lose weight, that could signal your comfort zone’s adverse reaction.

A comfort zone can also be a form of mental conditioning. By true definition, a comfort zone is “a place or situation where one feels safe or at ease and without stress.” In other words, how we carry on our everyday lives becomes programmed into our cerebral cortex, impacting our decision making. This day-to-day routine is what creates a comfort zone. Comfort zones are wastelands for dreams and among entrepreneurs and professionals.

Choosing to stay within the bounds of your comfort zone ultimately means playing it safe. Growth comes from failing and making mistakes. If life is going smoothly, but you have bigger goals in mind, this could be a red flag that you are being held back by your own comfort zone.

Elevate your potential and reach new heights with these three quick tips to help you move out of your comfort zone and rise to be the person you were always meant to:

 

#1 Start small when you try something new.

Taking small steps is crucial in creating change. Too much change at once can be a severe factor of becoming overwhelmed. You don’t have to throw your entire routine out the window to step out of your comfort zone. Try taking small steps, like driving a different route to work or even moving your desk to a different location. These can help you to get comfortable with the discomfort that comes from trying something new.

 

#2 Use positive reinforcement.

 

Reinforcement begins with believing. Utilizing positive self-talk is a method of reinforcing your personal goals. Start to condition your mind into believing that anything you want to do can come true. This is not a trick or meditation. This is about getting rid of negativity and fear to make a change in your life.

 

#3 Create challenges for yourself.

 

When’s the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone and took on a new challenge? Set a goal and decide what it will take to get there. Create a daily, weekly, or monthly challenge that you can take part in to put you one step closer to what you truly want and expect from your life. Use sticky notes or a pen and pad to keep track of challenges and progress. Do not base your progress on your current circumstance. Trust your process; change will come when you start to apply the right amount of dedication.

Don’t listen to the scared voice inside, holding you back. It is merely your comfort zone talking.

Let’s continue the conversation in the comments. Are you holding onto things that are keeping you ‘stuck’ in your comfort zone?

To Celebrate Issa Raes 35th birthday we are sharing some of our favorite quotes…

Issa Rae needs no formal introduction. No stranger to the spotlight, you could say she definitely owned the last decade. We are excited to see what this queen will bring to the table during the next. Producing and writing countless shows and actively speaking out to change audiences definition of what it means to be black.

We are multi- dimensional people. To celebrate her work we are sharing are favorite quotes from many of the moments where she uses her stage to shine on light on life as a block woman and finding success on the internet. Drop your favorite Issa Rae moment in the comments. Don’t forget to let her know Happy Birthday! 1BABEEDD-536B-4635-BD26-322E2281F06115734284-6CED-4C28-A1DD-A6E8B7B4AF917E4A6B39-21C4-4646-BAFE-E72EC19718D28EFA24E0-9804-40E8-90A1-679AE2CA70DE26A3BB6B-69E9-42F9-83EA-1585CC14BCCEB5E628D0-6940-43AC-B328-30073909CE375D35446D-F89A-4817-9657-C27EF82F26CC94C6AF10-6A7B-4C7F-A777-C7994EC9ADC0964D4C66-6553-4686-B99B-EF75C15111BBFE5C973C-2584-421B-BC53-8BF2AE8343E5

Get clear on your passions, make a plan, and succeed with purpose

Let me explain….

A lot of us enter our twenties with high hopes and expectations for what we feel our lives should be like. However, the way we go about it can lead to chaos instead of clarity. Without a plan and clear goals to measure we can’t expect to receive anything. And let’s face it..no one is coming to rescue us or remind us to do what we need to do to acheive. Motivation has a double edged sword.

‘Feeling’ motivated is not enough to actually reach our goals. For the days when we wake up having no motivation we will need a guideline to keep us on track on the journey of creating the life we want and manifesting our dreams. While that sound like magic, acheiving goals actually feels uncomfortable and taxing on the mind because we still have work, family, and community obligations to consider.

Manifestating your life is more than jsu thinking about it and doing good deeds hoping that because we’ve been so good that life will reward us. The truth is, the product of hard work is not always the result we seek. That is why having a plan for the next one, three, five, and ten years of our lives can help us stay on track. It also serves as a reminder that life is not just or unjust, it just is. To achieve what we feel is impossible, requires an unlimited supply of hope and hustle.

Life revolves around us daily. Time lapses with no regard to whether or not we started or completed that project that would land us our dream job. Nothing is against you. Circumstance is not a life sentence. Coming from nothing or not being able to get a loan to start that dream business should never stop you from trying.

Having a plan starts by identifying your highest goals. We won’t be able to achieve or master everything we put our minds too. Clarifying our goals starts with determing what we want most. This will require some dedicated time for self relfection. In modern times self-care has become a hot topic and this is indeed a part of self care. Going into life without a plan is fine, but it won’t get you the results you seek if you want to change your life for the better.

Ready to get clear on what you want and make a fail proof plan to achieve it? Here’s top three things you can do to get started:

#1 If it’s not a ‘hell yes’ then it’s a no

An easy way to chop down that long list of passions that continuously flows fomr our minds is by writing them all down. Once you have all of your passions and ideas on a paper look it over and Marie Kondo your list. If you’ve been watching Netflix or follow her on instagram, Marie Kondo helps people tidy their spaces by only keeping items in their home that spark joy and decluttering the rest.

The same applies to your goals. There is only so much attention you can give to your passions. It is best to focus only on those that give you joy. Toss out the rest or share the idea with someone you think would be great to make it happen. Only choose the passions that you would jump out of bed for. Every idea we receive we do not have to achieve. What matters most is accomplishing the things that make us feel like we are living a life of value, victory, and valoursly.

#2 Do your research.

Learn exactly how long it takes to build a business around your idea or to accomplish reaching your dream career. By understanding where you stand wihtin the scope of your skills, this will allow to easily find the areas of your life that require the most improvement.

#3 Allow gratefulness to lead the way and prepare you for more.

Oprah says it best: “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

If we focus too much on what we don’t have or how the things we’ve tried have not yielded anyh results we can lose sight of our dreams. That is when a plan can allow us to have a guideline to stay on track. Consistently focusing on what you do not yet have attracts and multiples the feeling and experience of not having. 

The more you are grateful now for what you have, the more life will give you to be grateful about in the future.

Without a plan you and your goals will get blown about in the dust up that can be life. Set backs and roadblaocks are a real thing that stop more than half of the country from prusuing what really matter to them. Don’t allow the fear of rockbottom or being seen getting started prevent you from continuing on.

Having a plan does not mean choosing to be unhappy until the plan comes through. It is saying that no matter what life throws at me, I’m sticking to my plan and am prepared for the ‘F’ in life. Flexbility. Make sure your plan leaves room for you ro enjoy the process of becoming HER. Humble, elevated, and resilitent as hell on the path to your dreams.

Don’t leave withotu leaving comment. Let us know how this article helped you or if you have more questions. Also, if you’ve been caught up in lifes chaos and unable to start your gaols, what do you feel like is the number one setback?

How to stop living paycheck to paycheck lifestyle…

67% of hiring managers say they deny candidates based on lack of eye contact

Financial stress happens for two reasons: 

1) You’re not making enough money to cover all of your bills.

2) Your debt is more than your income.

I constantly had a knot in my chest stressing over my finances and every dollar I spent. After facing a period of unemployment I was at my lowest. However, one day I woke up and I realized that I never wanted to feel that again. I decided that I was no longer going to allow my money to manage me. I took control and learned a lot along the way towards a brighter financial future.

You have to understand that we are taught to earn not how to spend or money. It is up to you to take control of yourself. Play an active role in your financial health and make the time to make the difference.I’m not saying crunch numbers all day but once or twice a week evaluate your spending and balance your account. I recommend to do this daily.

What to Do:

Living paycheck to paycheck can make you feel like you’re working for nothing. Only being able to afford the basics and necessities is a blessing. However sometimes you want to do better and you want more for yourself. Decision making can be difficult in times of stress especially when it comes time to pay the bills.

Well no more being afraid of your bank account. The stuck stops here! Here are 3 tips to stop living paycheck to paycheck!

#1 Accept your situation. 

Life will happen. Emergencies will happen. It is going to be okay. You can plan, but you can’t plan for everything. Once your at point where you’re set overtakes your income it is time to act. Accept where you are.  Forgive yourself. Move on. Take it one step at a time but keep it moving. Your past has already happened but you history does not have to keep repeated itself.

#2 Check your spending. 

I did not want to use the word budget but please take time to make one. Sit down and write down all of your bills and the amount. On another sheet of paper write down your expected income. This can help you to see how you can improve. If your bills are more than your income see if there is something you can live without. For example if your cable bill is costing you too much consider using Netflix or Hulu for a while to help you pay down more important debts.

Your priorities should be your mortgage or rent, utilities, car payment, insurance, gas and food ( these can change based on your situation) If you have child support, unpaid taxes or medical bills you would want to make those a priority as well due to the consequences of forefoing non payment!

#3 Choose between building a savings or paying off debt. 

It is your choice but you must choose. You can do both but it can be negative reincforcement. If you are constantly having to spend your savings you should pay more towards debt. Also if you are avoiding debt to build a savings you need to address your debts.

Again, life happens and we are all on different pages in our lives but money impacts us all. I hope these tips help you towards a brighter financial future.

Learn how to start your budget here:  Start your budget!

Happy Monday!

How to cultivate work/life balance

Let’s face it. We spend more time at work than with our families. As much as we try to separate our career from our personal life, it is not always easy to find balance. The new normal in the workforce is busyness. We may not have time for everything but we do have time for what we choose to make it for. I urge you to make time to manage your stress in a healthy way.  You deserve to spend your time wisely which is why the aspects of your work do not belong in your personal life. Many of us are not even aware of the impact of being consumed by the everyday stress.

Working full-time and trying to have a personal life seems impossible. Balancing your professional life with your personal life can become exhausting. Eventually the lines blur due to the demands of everyday life. The free time you get following work must be planned, prioritized, and flexible.  This method allows you to refresh your mind and reset for the next day.  Work stress can disrupt that process over time. If you are not giving you mind the proper time to rejuvenate you will start to feel more stress thus lowering productivity. Per Relevant Magazine, “Millennial’s are a stressed-out generation.”   Our work environment has many factors that can cause stress. However, over times stress can have a negative impact on many aspects of our lives.

 

The top 3 being:

 

  1. Negative performance reviews at work.
  2. Less engagement with family, co-workers and friends.
  3. Increased anxiety and risk of depression.

 

If you find yourself struggling to manage the stress that has started to affect your work performance or life  here are 3 simple ways to cready work/life balance.

#1 Prioritize by keeping a daily or weekly schedule.

Break down tasks and give each task it’s on designated time slot in your schedule. Even plan to do things you enjoy. If your favorite show comes on from 8-9 p.m. don’t schedule anything during that time slot unless necessary. Planning ensures your time is allocated properly. Try to plan your week on Sunday or every night before you go to bed. However, always be flexible with your plan.

#2 Go out and do something fun with friends or family.

If money is tight you can find an affordable way to have an evening out or a bit of fun. It’s not all doom and gloom. You can find the good in anything! It’s okay to give yourself a night off from sulking and thinking about all the what-ifs. Give yourself a chance to refuel. Going out and having fun will reduce your stress level tremendously. Multiple research studies have shown the benefit of laughter. Use it to your advantage.

#3 Plan for change.

Make one change in your life that could lead to reducing stress even if it will make you uncomfortable.

Setting boundaries for your best life

This post is inspired by my stress and wavering faith to stay motivated. As humans, it is in our nature to become attached and letting go seems trivial and difficult. However, any relationship (friendship, romantic, or work ) that does not have a balance or produce good vibes should not be allowed into your ‘threshold.’ I had a hectic weekend and after all of the latest challenges to enter my life, I haven’t been feeling quite motivated to keep going. Life is funny in that way.

The reality is our lives can change in an instance.  In one moment things are moving along like a well-oiled engine and then the next, BAM! You get hit with a ton of bricks and are left picking up the pieces.

We all have limits. You are human and you have needs. The longer you go on putting those needs ahead of others the more you will lose yourself. Think of in terms of a scale. If you keep allowing the people around to handle you their problems or ‘rocks’ as my mother would say. Eventually, you will be weighed down.

Until recently I was giving so much of my self away from that I had no clue of who I really was. I knew I was an awesome friend (depends on who you ask), always there for family, and an insane work ethic.

This morning I woke up defeated and lost. Typically I maintain a “can-do” attitude but today, not so much. I don’t know what you may be battling but I wanted to share these three quotes that helped me get rejuvenated to keep going.  As I head to work I will be resonating these words so eloquently spoken. I just wanted to share a simple reminder that the past does not define you and the present is here to teach you. Your future is still ahead of you.

When conflict entered my life I chose to internalize the things I couldn’t control rather than staying focused on the things I had the power to change.  Many of us when we get to a point in life where we are down bad will choose to hide our pain.  I’m here to offer another choice-rising above it.

Here are three quotes that powerfully represent the true meaning of movement and why it is important that we keep going:

Forgiveness is good for the soul.  Forgiving others is never about how they made you feel.  Their apology can never take back the pain they cause.  What forgiveness does, is creates space for you to move forward emotionally detached from that pain.  The point is: let go or be dragged by it. 

There is no need to start over.  There is no going back, only moving forward.  Each moment is a fresh start.  In every moment you get to choose what you want to represent.

>This quote is my all time favorite.  Always trust the magic of new beginnings.  Our pasts our lessons, not highlight reels of our failures.  Next time you find your self wanting to reminisce on past what-ifs also ask yourself what would you have learned had that not happened?  This by any means does not justify trauma, abuse, or pure hate and evil.  This allows you to create space to move forward and complete your purpose regardless of the circumstance that was formed against you. 


Always remember to keep your hope alive and your passion burning no matter what challenges lay ahead.


Side Note

Ask yourself: What if you could improve just one area of your life with lasting results?


Never give up. And if you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide please call The National Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-TALK.

(I do not own any of the images featured)

On the dream deferred…

Stressed? Anxious? Feel like giving up? This post is for you.  What is the meaning behind turmoil on the path to our dreams? The path to our dreams seems linear at a young age.  As we get older, that ideal changes as we come to realize that life happens in spite of our dreams. On the path to career elevation, entrepreneurship, our relationships, we can be subjected to constant rejection.

Leading to low self-esteem and causes some to stop pursuing their dreams altogether. So, the question is: Why do some women stop chasing their dreams when faced with adversity while others persist?

Some would argue it is a matter of strength or hustle. However, it has nothing to do either. Persisting past failure requires patience and strategy.

Research suggests that the main reason some stop pursuing their highest goals due to the ‘grass is greener’ syndrome. The grass is greener syndrome suggests that at the core of people ending their journey is based on fear or fantasy. Meaning that we either expect too much or succumb to fear: “fear of being trapped in commitment, fear of boredom, fear of loss of individuality, and fear of oppression.” A easy way to know if you could be experiencing this syndrome is to examine your patterns. Sometimes the need to succeed can become toxic and dangerous similar to any addiction.

Here are the five main patterns:

1. Constantly wanting things to get better, however never being satisfied.
2. Perfection.
3. Need to run away from difficult decisions.
4. Consistent and persistent dissatisfaction with everything.
5. The need to have everything you want. Ultimately, success alone could never be enough.

As you can see, failure isn’t always explained by life challenges or other people who might have blocked an opportunity. If you fall into one of the above categories seeking psychotherapy can help you create better habits so that you are purposefully taking actions towards your dreams. Not having the right intentions can attract the very turmoil that we feel is holding us back.

Sometimes the dream isn’t deferred. Often times we have just become our own worst enemy. Nothing to feel guilty about, however be cautious of the responsibility that comes with being highly ambitious. The stress and anxiousness you feel is correlated to your motivations for the way you are living your life. IF you find yourself consistently facing chaos in your personal life, make changes from within.

“Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principals which direct them.”
– Napoleon Bonaparte

Everything happens at the right time.

We can’t rush to success. That is why comparison is a crucial thing to avoid. We will all get there, just not at the same time. Sometimes it’s okay to quit. The important thing to remember is to avoid stopping. We are all allowed to take a break and regroup. Be mindful of your goals on a daily basis as a means of inspiration so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labor. Ambition is at the core of your character and tied to the passions that ultimately lead you to your purpose.

Failure is a delay, not defeat…

Failure is delay, not defeat.

Success takes time and for these and other reasons a lot people give up on their dreams because the beginning stages are always the hardest.

When you’re having a tough time in life it can be hard to see the good in any situation. You start to believe that nothing can change and you begin to feel ‘stuck.’ Maybe things didn’t work out the way you expected. The right opportunities never came along. It doesn’t matter the reason, what matters is that that reason is what’s holding you back. Failure leads to multiple learning opportunities to becoming who you are meant to be.

Feeling ‘stuck’ comes from a place of fear and limits. You are start to fear failure an avoid situations where failure is a possibility. Such as applying for a new job or avoiding serious commitment. When you say, “yes,” to your limits you are saying “no” to your possibilities.  Choose to be empowered by failure instead of weakened by it.  It is better to endure hardships live a life you desire than to live a forced life.

steve-jobs-top-quotes-3Failure appears to have more of an impact towards our lives based on what we believe. By true definition failure is the result of the expectations we have over our lives not being met or a person or obstacle preventing us from making progress. However research and Steve Jobs have proven that success is built conducted failure. According to Reut Schwartz-Hebron, founder of the Key Change Institute — an organization that focuses on workplace behavior it is first necessary “to rewire your brain” by creating new experiences and engaging two different cerebral systems; the explicit and the implicit memory.*

After all you have to have a self awareness of what you’ve done wrong in order to get it right the next time. Obstacles and challenges are meant to build strengths and identify weaknesses to make you better. If you are letting your past mistakes hinder you from making positive change I encourage to try a new perspective. Don’t be afraid of failure.

There is no way to get a perfect score on life because no one else will experience your life from your lens. Realistically there is no ‘right’ way of doing things because you are on an unique path. Success occurs when you defeat the self doubt and change the limiting beliefs that keep you ‘stuck’ on your failures.


Open your mind and accept that life will not always be fair or convenient. Success is not guaranteed it is earned.  No matter what point you are at in your life you can earn success.  Try to look at the bigger picture. What you are going through or have gone through is miniscule when compared to the rest of your life. It is your job to decide the amount of impact mistakes has on you. Bad things will happen to you. There will be missed opportunities, failed relationships, and financial troubles along the way along with a multitude of other issues that could arise. You will not always have the ability to control your outside circumstances but you can always control how you handle them.

You have to change from within. Once your perspective changes so will the world around you. It is up to you to choose to radiate from within the life you truly wish to experience. You just need to get started by taking action towards changing your mindset. A positive outlook will increase your confidence to take the action necessary to break free of the glass ceiling. I use positive affirmations to reset my mind to remain focused on taking action towards my goals while overlooking the hardships.

Believing is the fuel and self confidence is the match that can light the fire that failure and setbacks have burnt out. Just as you have faced obstacles to get where you are now, you will continue to face them. Take daily action towards overcoming the self doubt and stepping into your authentic self. Create the change you want see. There will still be difficulties but with time comes grace and with it patience brings blessings. Stay focused on your possibilities because in the end, it will be worth it. Failure is delay, not defeat.

The moment is now. A great way to break the bad habits of overanalyzing your life is to keep a gratitude journal. Each day write down one to three things you are grateful for. acknowledging your gratefulness helps extend the magnitude of your willingness to accept the abundance you are due. What are you waiting for?

*(Read the full story first reported cnn.com here.)

 

Afterthoughts:

What have you learned from your failures that has helped you in another area of your life?
Thank you so much for reading. If you found this uplifting share this with someone who needs this message. 

What will you manifest in 2019?

You can change your life in 6 months. It is time plus consistency that creates lasting success. This will require your focus. We are approaching the halfway mark of 2019 and if you are feeling overwhelmed to achieve your goals instead of inspired this post is for you.

There is still time to work towards that promotion, launch that podcast, or start that book. Success isn’t always related to talent. Without calling anybody out here sometimes the people who make it don’t have any talent at all. They just keep consistently showing up and adding value in their work that helps others.

There are advantages that have been given to some. But, those advantages aren’t always helpful. People fail their way to success. No one avoids failure on their way to the top. A positive mindset is key and that is what the mantra at the top in for. Save this for the next time you’re feeling like there can’t be a new start.

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You have everything you need already to get things done, you just need to get started. Yes, this advice sounds easy. Yes, many other people share the same perspective. Why? Because it’s one of the things in life we can’t control.

We can’t control our privilege or where we come from. What we can control are the choices we make from this day forward. Your future should never belong to your past. We were created to evolve. Never be afraid to fail. Be afraid of quitting.

So, instead of giving ourselves all of the reasons why we can’t do anything. The main thing we should be asking yourself is what do we want. Take a moment and fill in the blank. Get focused, consistent, and work hard. Why? Because 2019 is far from over.