Personal Growth
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Why self-love is the key to sustainable success

According to Psychology today:

“Self-love is important to living well. It influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work, and how you cope with the problems in your life. It is so important to your welfare that I want you to know how to bring more of it into your life.”

This excerpt could not be more spot on with the truth. Until recently I hadn’t thought much about the idea of loving myself. Bills, business, family, life obstacles, you name it I would give it as an excuse as to why I wasn’t more invested in my ‘self.’ That all changed when I received a phone call from a college friend determined to throw her life away. Her company had went belly up, she ended her 5-year marriage, and had nowhere to go with her two kids. The situation alone is enough for any of us to throw in the towel. While she was speaking what resonated the most is she kept speaking of her life as if she hadn’t been an active counterpart.

For years she put her goals to the side to love and take care of others. She had never thought about her happiness as a contributing factor she just thought she was overwhelmed by life. Which is why I am here to call you to bring more of self-love into your life. The next time you feel overwhelmed turn up the volume on your self-love. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t be there for everyone and everything else and think that you will remain whole.

I’m not saying to give to others. The surest way to success is by giving love and your time. Notice how I didn’t mention giving of your last dime that puts your light bill in jeopardy to prevent losing a friend or a business partner. Give yourself permission to be a priority in your life. You are not a burden to you. You don’t have problems you have people and money problems. Every time you give energy to situations that aren’t serving you, your values, or your purpose you should think twice before committing.

We were raised to be competitive, to achieve, and to collect accomplishments and awards. Expectations have been heightened. Millennials are under a microscope to be optimal given new doors and careers that have opened that were not made available to our parents. The bar has raised however, many millennials are struggling to rise and meet the new standard.  Sadly this is leading to self-destruction.

Research shows that millennials are reporting higher numbers of having depression or anxiety. Millennials are feeling overworked, overwhelmed, and overly stressed. In an era of heightened expectations, millennials are experiencing unprecedented levels of anxiety and depression. The APA reports that 12% of millennials have a diagnosed anxiety disorder—almost twice the percentage of Boomers.  Millennials are turning to substance abuse now more than ever to cope with the overwhelming.


Practicing selflove can be challenging for many of us, especially in times when we face serious challenges. It is important to remember that loving yourself is a necessary part of your process to success and can benefit you overall.  It took me years to love myself authentically. The hard-won lessons from that journey helped me continue towards success. I hope they will help you too. 

Here are some daily action items that can get you started towards your path of success:

#1 Know your value.

Knowing your value and your worth directly impacts your thought process when making decisions. You will make negative decisions if you don’t feel like you are adding value to your life. Self-love is the key to unlocking a positive mindset. My friend was ready to give up because she was starting to relate her fear of reality.

She had to realize the fear were lies and she was more than capable to start over and continue building a bright future. She just had to add one thing: self-love. Once you love yourself you will be unstoppable and happier.

How much you choose to believe in yourself is how far you will go. If you don’t love yourself, you won’t truly love anything else: including your job or business.

#2 If you don’t love yourself, who else will?

Especially if you are a millennial looking to navigate the world of entrepreneurship. You need to build a solid foundation on the inside too order to build one on the outside. Sometimes we can get focused on who we are meant to be that we beat ourselves up over every mistake we make that leads us away from being that ‘version’. Our generation was programmed to want, expect, and accept more but I am calling you to love what you have. We are all guilty of not being grateful at times but that should never get in the way of you being kind to yourself.
The more you love yourself the less you will be inclined to make decisions that leave you living in lack. When you love yourself you won’t allow anything less but what you deserve.

#3 Self-preservation is not the same as being selfish,

You respectfully deserve to lead a meaningful, miraculous existence. If you love yourself you would want to take opportunities and build relationships that benefit you and add to your success overall. However, sometimes the very thing holding us back is ourselves. We give so much to the point there’s nothing left for ourselves.

Having a big heart or wanting to help others is a great thing.  Giving is a great thing. But, there is a catch. If it is impacting you negatively it’s not a benefit. It’s not about being narcissistic. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you are a selfish person. Another point to add is that if you’re constantly helping a loved one you’re not allowing them the chance to learn and grow.

#4 Surround your self with positive people and imagery to remind you to remain positive. 

In order to keep up a winning mindset, you must understand how much you mean and your value to the world. Each person was born with a unique purpose. If you want to improve that you should do your best to think positively. Loving yourself, being good to yourself, and being happy are all expressions of thinking positively.

Positive thinking births ingenuity and opens doors. Set limits on others and your schedule if you have too. Remove all blocks that could be preventing you from your best life. You deserve to love yourself. The more you practice self-love the more you will increase your positive thinking. Your positive thinking will attract the circumstances and people you need in your life that will help you along the way to finding a fulfilled career and living a life you love.

Let’s continue this conversation in the comments. Are you taking the time necessary to love yourself? 

Have an insight you'd like to share to help another queen thrive. Comment below:

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